Coming Back and Learning

It has been a while since I wrote one of these blogs. I put all the auxiliary stuff in being an author on hold to focus on just writing and especially editing the books that I had written. It has proven fruitful, as these stories read so differently now. A lot of my time now is just focused on editing, and I know what to look for and how to construct sentences and paragraphs better. While the process can be grueling, the result has made me satisfied.

So, I am back to blogging and sending queries letters for one of my stories, The Land of The Wooden Statues. It is a story that I feel is complete and written well. I still have issues with style, but the substance is there and tells a good story. I learned a lot when it came to characterization, and I understand that depending on the situation, the characters will act a certain way that makes sense. An ignorant character (like one of my characters, The Mustard Prince) is not going to casually approach new places like he had been there before, for example. As an author, I need to express what he feels, sees, hears, etc.

This will be a battle of patience, perseverance and rejection that I must be ready for. When I first sent query letters, I sent them with an incomplete, and quite honestly, not well-written story. This time, I feel that I upped my level as an author with consideration to carefully crafted sentences and stronger characterization. I can only hope and pray that my stories will be accepted by a literary agent this time around.

Rough Starts and Moving Forward

2019 has not started out well for me as a friend/roommate recently passed away. It has affected my motivation to write and edit on a consistent basis along with, honestly, the cold weather here in California. I’ve found myself just falling asleep many times as I want to get under the blankets and just be comfortable. It really goes to show how much outside factors can create mental obstacles to your goals. I’ve been trying to get back on track and make it a habit to write and edit on a daily basis, but I have not been successful so far.

I’ve recently discovered that certain magazines accept submissions for short stories and have submitted two of my works so far. Unfortunately, I got rejections. It’s just the beginning though, and since I have quite a few short stories already written, I intend to continue to submit them. I can only hope that some of them will get accepted and that I’ll be able to strengthen my writing portfolio as well.

I’ve actually managed to re-edit a lot of my previous works, so I have been finally writing new material. Lately, I have worked on writing another fantasy novel called The Land of the Wooden Statues, and it’s been a lot of fun. However, I’ve gotten the proverbial “itch” to write more short stories, especially in the science fiction genre, so I’ll probably work on that soon.

2019 and Goals

The New Year approaches, and I have to say, but 2018 wasn’t exactly a great year for me. In regards to my three goals of getting a girlfriend, getting a literary agent and getting my own place, I have only just this past month gotten a tad bit closer to each goal. Getting 2nd place in the Dream Quest One writing contest showed me that I’m on the right path to becoming a professionally published author, and that I’ve gotten some form of verification that my writing has gotten better.

I decided that I’m going to stop podcasting. The goal of the Chris’s Storytelling Corner podcast was to raise my profile as an author. I started it in earnest in 2016, and I can’t say that the results were fruitful. In that time, I got 15 Subscribers on YouTube and a lot of frustration as I didn’t know how to raise my viewership and Subscriber count. I used to have an MMA show that was close to getting 1,000 Subscribers on YouTube, and with every video I’d put up, I’d pretty much always get new Subscribers. That just wasn’t the case with Chris’s Storytelling Corner. On SoundCloud, I got over 130 Followers, but no one ever commented on my shows.

This will open up things for me to do such as freelance writing to make more money. I can also just get more done in terms of my writing and not having to worry about getting shows out. Podcasting was an experiment for me that just didn’t pan out, but the lesson I got is simply not spreading myself out too thin especially with having a full-time job already on top of trying to become an author.

2019 feels like something of a fresh start to me. I think that there are small changes that I can feasibly make in order to better achieve my goals whether it’s something like cleaning or not podcasting. If I were to be positive about 2018, I would say that 2018 is the year where I put “money in the bank.” I’ve gotten more comfortable talking with women. I understand something like “voice” and put it into my stories, and I even placed in a short story contest. It’s a year where I was continually trying to improve, at the very least.

Contests and Writing

I finally got some good news in regards to writing. I submitted one of my fantasy short stories: The Wizard, The Shadow and The Tree to the Dream Quest One writing contest and got second place and $250.00 (it can be found here: https://www.dreamquestone.com/the-wizard-the-shadow-and-the-tree). I re-edited the story to be even more descriptive, and I really do feel that I’m finding my voice as a writer. Before, I understood of showing, and not telling the audience of what’s going on in the story, but I really do feel that I am understanding that and writing that on a much deeper level.

The other thing that placing in this contest did was validate my progress so far as a writer. It’s one thing to have friends or family read and critique my work, but to have someone in the writing world to read my work and to praise it favorably is a totally different thing. Unless It’s really tough to gage if I’m really moving forward as a writer or not. I’m writing or editing on a daily basis with no real measure of improvement, as it’s not like martial arts where one gets a new belt the higher one goes. It gets very discouraging because there’s no real metric for progress for someone who is unpublished, or in my case, self-published but hasn’t sold many copies and got no feedback.

Writing is like anything else in that it’s something that needs to be constantly worked on and cultivated to get better. I’ve had to re-edit my works on a constant basis as I’ve learned more and got a better idea of the type of writer that I want to be. I’ve found that I like a certain level of description with my writing that involves using all the human senses, and I’ve gone back to my works to implement that idea.

This has definitely given me renewed vigor with trying to become a published author. I have been focusing on my short stories as of late to submit them into contests, and I have found that I have been enjoying re-editing these works, as the finished product feels like a different story than before. While I’m happy to have accomplished something involving writing, the ultimate goal is still to become a professionally published author.

Productivity and Idleness

Thanksgiving ended, and the days off were fun enough. I just relaxed, watched the anime, Fairy Tail, and hung out with friends. I did some writing-related things, but not as much as I planned to do. Now, I can’t say that I feel good about being so idle and not working on writing and editing enough. It really is ingrained in me at this point to always be productive and working on something.

Generally, I spend one hour at least a day with writing, editing or something else writing-related. I have to really think about dedicating a lot more time on being productive on my days off where I pretty much have the whole day free. It’s becoming imperative to speed up the process with things like editing and just getting stuff done, as I haven’t written a new story in a while. I have a couple stories on the docket partly done, but I’d really like to get back to the creative process of writing again.

I admittedly wasted a lot of time in my twenties just being idle and not really having much in terms of goals or aspirations. I am hard on myself for being idle these days because I feel that I’m making up for lost time now, and I spent years just sitting around doing nothing of importance or value, so I can’t be doing that now. I feel compelled to stay productive throughout the day now, as I pretty much spent years more-or-less just relaxing and doing enough to get by, but not doing enough to get ahead.

Relaxing and Regularity

I had a really fun weekend, as my whole Saturday was spent in Los Angeles. I attended WWE NXT Takeover: War Games II at the Staples Center, and it was a lot of fun. I ate at a dumpling place, a Korean boba place, and The Far Bar along with buying some anime and manga at Entertainment Jungle. On top of that, I got some really good deals with what I bought.

It’s good to just get back to where I was. I’ve been exercising regularly and going back regularly to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. However, my discipline for writing and editing has waned, and I can’t say that I’ve just sat and edited for a good amount of time in a couple weeks. It’s definitely something that I need to work on again, and I just need not get distracted with other things. I have been more consistent with sending out query letters to literary agents, so that’s good.

I’m looking forward to having a four-day weekend coming up. I’m going to try and catch up on things like the podcast, writing, editing, but what I really want to do is just sit around and marathon an anime series or something like that. I can’t say that I’ve just sat idly as of late, besides when I was sick and injured, as the goal of becoming a published author makes it so that I’m constantly doing something. Maybe I need to relax a bit sometimes, but at the same time, I always end up feeling bad when I don’t get anything done.

Expectations and Improvements

This week has been something of an improvement. I’m not sick anymore, and I feel that my shoulder has recovered enough that I can go back to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class. As far as my goals go, I think that this setup hurt me mentally quite a bit, so it was a matter of not thinking so negatively about things. While I don’t feel particularly closer to any one goal, I have to try not to stress about it so much either. Things will happen when they happen, and all I can contribute is the amount of effort I put into achieving these goals.

I really have to temper expectations at this point. For example, I can want to be a published author and work towards it, but I cannot expect it. I think that having the expectation and not reaching that expectation is what hurts mentally, not just the failure itself. I think so much of what I can physically do to reach certain goals, but after how terrible these last two weeks have been, I’ve been thinking of how to mentally approach these goals as well.

I saw an anime movie this week, as I haven’t watched any movies in a while. It was Liz and the Blue Bird, and I had no idea coming in that it was related to an anime/light novel, Sound! Euphonium. Had I known that, I may have liked it better. However, the movie was artistically beautiful but very slow-paced. I have written a few short stories that were particularly slow-paced, but I can’t say that I’ve particularly enjoyed them. I’m the type where I just really need things to happen at nearly all times, and I tend to write that way as well.

Bad Weeks and New Approaches

This week has not been good for me at all. On Monday, I injured my right shoulder in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but also got sick at the same time. Combined with this apparent rut that I’m having, and I am at something of a low right now. My goals do not seem any closer, and getting sick and injured doesn’t help as well. Missing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu class is not something that I like doing, as it is a good way to exercise and get any stress out.

My patience and perseverance are getting tested right now. It’s said that one learns the most through hardship and struggle, and I can attest to that. It’s easy to get lazy about things and just be less motivated. I can also see how it would be easy to quit right now, and for me, that would be stopping in trying to be a published author. I would have more time to just do fun things and relax more. However, I know that I would lose a lot as well. Creating things is fun, even though it takes work, but here I am creating worlds, characters, stories, etc. through books. There’s also something to be said about being productive, as I spent most of my twenties being lazy.

I think that one of the big problems is that there haven’t been any indicators of improvement, so I can’t really tell how far I’ve progressed, especially with writing. I have changed my approach to things though in that I’m not prioritizing editing my novels in favor of getting query letters out regularly or short stories out for competitions. I made the mistake of missing weeks working on other things related to writing. I needed to distinguish things that were priority but didn’t need to be done right away, and things that may not be as high of a priority but does need to get done by a certain time. I can only hope that this approach will have some benefits.

The Los Angeles Comic Con and Accomplishments

I attended the Los Angeles Comic Con on Saturday cosplaying as Bruce Lee, and it was a lot of fun. Being so close to Halloween, it felt like one big Halloween party with so many cosplayers. My friends and I primarily looked around the exhibit hall and took a good amount of pictures. People were generally friendly, and overall we had a good time. I’m looking forward to future conventions such as The Long Beach Comic Expo and WonderCon.

I took a step back this week and focused on re-editing one of my short stories: The Wizard, the Shadow and the Tree for a short story contest instead on working on The Wilderness. There was a deadline, so it became a priority, but it was fun just working on a different work. I’ve been re-editing my works for a while now, and I would like to really get back to actually writing stories again. I have a lot of stories on the docket that are incomplete and in the process of getting finished. Most of them are in the fantasy genre.

I would say that I’m still in a rut, as I haven’t made much in terms of progress of achieving my goals. It’s not as bad as a week or two ago, and finishing the editing process of The Wizard, the Shadow and the Tree and submitting it to a short story contest helps as I feel that I got something accomplished. I think that I’ve felt better about things when I submit query letters, submit works to contests, or got things out with my Chris’s Storytelling Corner podcast. I should really focus on these small accomplishments and hope that the bigger accomplishments like getting a literary agent will eventually come my way.

The Rut and Solutions

I have to say, but this week just was not gelling for me. There was not anything in particular that happened that made it subpar, but I think that my current bad mood and rut have really negatively affected my days. I know what some of the problems are (not getting a girlfriend, not getting any closer to getting a literary agent, and saving up money for a down payment for my own place has been slow), and I have some ideas for a solution, but I need to really get up and do them.

There was a day after work when I just wanted to rest, so I didn’t do anything writing related. It felt good as it happened, but afterwards, I just felt guilty for being lazy. It goes to show that working on this writing stuff is now just ingrained in me these days and part of my daily routine, which is good. It does wear on me though that nothing is happening as far as any real progression in getting published professionally is concerned. I am looking to strengthen my self-publishing through Amazon and iTunes, and I will look into things like KDP Rocket, ads, and whatnot. I do understand that in order to get my name out there, I have to “pay to play.” While I can use social media and other means, I know that I still have to put money into this venture, but I have to look at it as an investment in myself and my brand.

I’m looking forward to this weekend though. The Los Angeles Comic Con is this Saturday, and I will be consplaying as Bruce Lee from Game of Death. Also, the WWE all women’s PPV, Evolution, is this Sunday, and I’m looking forward to it. My church has an event the following Monday that looks to be fun. I’m hoping that things turn around soon, but I know that it is ultimately up to me.

Emotion and Faith

With the year winding down, I’ve found that my emotional state has affected my everyday life. I had three goals this year: get a girlfriend, get a literary agent and get my own place. I quite honestly don’t feel any closer to any one of those goals now than I did the beginning of the year. I have made efforts in good faith with all of these goals, and I keep coming up short. With getting a girlfriend in particular, I seem to run into some sort of barrier at different stages of getting to know a woman. It’s quite honestly difficult for me to even get to a point where I can meet a woman for a cup of coffee.

Combined with getting constant rejections as far as getting a literary agent, and the difficulty in saving money for a down payment for my own place, I have been left with questioning things such as how I approach things and what measures I can take to change my situation. Everything has an opportunity cost, so if I decide to take a side job, for example, then that will take away from writing/editing.

My faith gets tested as well. If I keep failing even though I have made sacrifices and put constant effort, then what lesson am I really taking away from this? Is the lesson that putting effort to a goal is useless, and therefore, I should not strongly pursue a goal? Is this more akin to the story of Job from The Bible where I need to just stay patient and persevere, and hopefully, I will achieve these goals?

When I took this journey of becoming an author, I figured that it would be very difficult. Rejection is becoming something of the norm, and I send out a query letter to a literary agent with the expectation of not getting something positive back. I didn’t realize how much that it would wear down on me though, and I guess that this is where faith and belief really get tested.

Asian Movies and Originality

I watched two movies in the theaters this week. One of them was The Transformers: The Movie from 1986, and hearing the music and seeing the animation on the big screen was amazing. The nostalgia was great, but the movie was also just very well-done with defined characters and stakes. The fact that it was all hand drawn was nothing short of amazing as well, and who can forget songs like “The Touch,” which was very much in line with 80’s music.

I also watched a Korean movie called The Negotiation, and while some aspects of the movie force one to suspend their disbelief, it was a good movie. I’ve been watching many U.S.-made movies as of late, and a good amount of them have been mediocre-at-best, in my opinion, as many of the action movies that I’ve seen prefer style over substance. The Negotiation had some level of style, but there was a deeper narrative as well that put the villain into more of a moral gray area. Asian cinema, and foreign cinema in general, does have their mediocre offerings for sure, but I’ve for the most part found their stories to be unique and more substance-based. Over here, we are getting a myriad of remakes, reboots and sequels.

I like originality in stories as much as the next person, but I also acknowledge that pretty much any idea has already been done in some way, shape or form. Because of that, I don’t critique against any story for not being original, but I do assess stories from their actual content and how they are written. Bad writing is still bad writing.

Characters and Reboots

I watched the newest Predator movie, and it was just okay. It was much more humorous than previous offerings, and the action was fun enough. I wouldn’t particularly recommend to watch it in theaters, but it would make a good rental. Like most movies that I’ve seen lately, they make an ending that opens up the possibility for a sequel, yet some of these movies are just okay-at-best and not really worthy of a sequel.

Many of the previews showed a good amount of reboots and remakes, and I have mixed feelings about that. For one thing, it seems as if there aren’t any original ideas coming about these days. The other problem is the focus of style over substance, so while these reboots and remakes look better than the original, they lack certain things like characterization, a good plot, a particularly interesting script, etc. I would imagine that audiences are starved for original content and are going to television, streaming, and other media to get it.

Personally, I write in a way with characters in mind. I tend to remembers characters as I was growing up rather than plots. I try not to reinvent the wheel, so my plots are actually quite simple. For example, the Mustard Prince fights monsters and bandits to save the Condiment Kingdom. There is more to it than that, but that’s the simple version as it’s something akin to a good versus evil story. I’ll use ideas from other media, but for the most part, the characters, the actions they make and the world that they live in comes from my mind.

Perfect Blue and the Long Beach Comic Con

I just watched Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue in the theaters with the last time watching it being more than ten years ago. Even though I knew the ending beforehand, the movie was just as good if not better than when I first watched it. I actually had a better understanding of what was going on and can appreciate some of the nuance that the film presented. It also just didn’t totally freak me out after watching the movie unlike the first time that I watched it.

I also attended the Long Beach Comic Con and cosplayed as Bruce Lee from Game of Death. It’s always fun to go to these conventions, but I have to say that this one has felt a bit smaller than ones in the past. I didn’t see certain vendors that I usually see, and I didn’t go to any panels as they just didn’t look that interesting to me. As far as cosplay goes, there isn’t a particular character that’s come out this year that everyone is cosplaying as that I saw. I can imagine that would change next year with Captain Marvel and Avengers 4 coming out. 

Editing for The Wilderness has been good so far. It’s fascinating to re-read what I wrote, and I think that I have captured the feeling of anguish and suffering that Cain is feeling so far in the book. I removed a good amount of sentences that were repeating things just in different ways and also just removing sentences that didn’t fit in context with the paragraph. It’s going to be a while until this is completely finished, and I am thinking of changing the ending a bit, but I’m curious to see how the final product will turn out.
 

Labor and Rewards

I labored quite a bit on Labor Day and the weekend in general. I didn’t have work, but I did a lot of cleaning and put more of my manga and anime for sale on ebay. I am always getting new anime or manga series, so unless what I have is just excellent, I tend to sell it when I finish it. I just do not have the time these days to read a lot of older titles that I have, and lately, I’ve been really getting back into watching a good amount of anime as well.

I made good use of Netflix as I was cleaning or doing other chores, as I would put the anime, Fairy Tale, in the background. While I prefer to watch international media in its native language and just read English subtitles, it’s just been very convenient for me to play Fairy Tale on English dub. It’s a fun series, and I used to own the creator’s manga series before this one, Rave Master, so I knew what to expect as far as art style, comedy, characterization, and whatnot. It doesn’t hurt that the world of Fairy Tale seemingly takes place in the same world as Rave Master, as Plue is a minor character in the series. 

I have also been watching Hunter x Hunter in Japanese with English subtitles on Crunchyroll. It’s getting pretty dark and grim with characters getting killed and eaten by insect-like creatures. The storytelling’s good, and there hasn’t had any real filler episodes yet. 

I kind of gave up watching anime in my pursuit of becoming an author, as it took a lot of my time. Now, with good discipline, I can use it as a sort of reward for after I finish writing or editing. In the case of Fairy Tale, it makes for good background noise for when I’m doing chores or some other work at home. For a while, if I did was television, I would just watch MMA fights or professional wrestling, and that got a bit monotonous after a while. Seeing something with an ongoing story, in different genres that I like has been much better.
 

Movies and Anime

. I watched two movies this week with one being an anime movie, and the other being a Korean movie. The anime movie was The Night is Short, Walk on Girl, and it was crazy in a good way. The animation and premise of a night in Kyoto was absolutely surreal with some very memorable occurrences. The overall creativity of the movie impressed me, as it’s sporadic nature, which is in stark contrast to how I write stories.

The Korean movie was The Spy Gone North, and I felt that it was solid and relevant. It got into all the spy stuff, but then it also got very political as well, which I don’t mind. It wasn’t as memorable as The Night is Short, Walk on Girl, and it would be difficult to truly compare an animated movie to a non-animated movie based on a true story. It was nonetheless a good yet long movie. 

I’ve also been getting back into watching anime, specifically Hunter x Hunter and Naruto. I’m trying to avoid the temptation to watch anime instead of writing or editing, as it would be pretty easy to get lazy. I’m still sticking to the routine, but watching anime as something of a reward for after working on writing. It also just gives me good ideas and whatnot.
 

Genres and Darker Tones

I had a bit of a struggle when making the query letter for The Wilderness. The story’s main character is Cain from The Bible, so I figured that the it would fall under the “religion” genre. Looking at the literary agents who represent religious works, they generally want something softer without blood, gore, sex and violence. The Wilderness starts with Cain killing his brother, Abel, in the beginning of the story, and it also contains sex and a good amount of violence. It also takes place in various environments with some pretty fantastical characters, so I decided that this would better be suited under the Adult Fantasy genre.

I have a propensity to lean towards writing things that are a bit darker in tone. Even with The Mustard Prince, the villain’s backstory is pretty dark, and I’m not exactly kind to the main character. I actually have a very hard time writing happy endings to my stories. That’s not to say that I haven’t written a generally happy and good-natured story here and there, and The Mustard Prince is generally a light-hearted story, but I seem to lean towards putting some sort of darker tones here and there as well. 

I plan to watch a couple movies sometime soon like The Spy Gone North, which is a Korean movie, Crazy Rich Asians and maybe The Night is Short, Walk on Girl. I like the variety with international, animated, and mainstream as it’s always good to see different stories in various types of media. 
 

Nostalgia and Letting Go

I am a huge fan of Japanese anime, and books that I wrote like The Mustard Prince in the Condiment Kingdom are inspired by anime. My friends and I have been watching anime titles that we watched when we first started getting into the platform, and the amount of care put into those past titles contrasts with what looks like a quick money-grab of today. From background animation to just having memorable characters, I feel that anime back then had more soul than much of the stuff out now.

I also watched Disney’s Christopher Robin, and I liked it. There was a huge sense of nostalgia along with humor in a story with similarities to Hook. I can relate to the idea of someone growing up and casting aside things from one’s childhood only to revisit them when that person becomes an adult. Writing fantasy has been something that is full-circle for me, as I am now writing stories using stories from my childhood and growing up to create something new. 

I think that there is something about nostalgia and being an adult that’s important. For me with writing, I don’t really want to totally let go of the child-like self, so writing kind of preserves that, and I think that various media has that same effect. We yearn for something to hold on to that’s relevant and memorable. 
 

The Rut and The Wilderness

I have to admit that I am in something of a rut. I would say that it comes from the fact that I have three goals: get a girlfriend, get a literary agent, and get my own place. I think that I just don’t feel any closer to any one of these goals, and I’m just grinding away which creates a rut. I realize though that these are relatively big goals, life-changing even, and maybe I should step back and see if there are any smaller goals that I can pursue. I’m in something of a routine pretty much every day, so anything that would bring me out of this routine such as joining some sort of group and meeting new people, trying a new hobby or something else may help me get out of this rut.

Sleep has been my biggest enemy as of late in regards to writing and editing. I’ve fallen asleep on my chair as I’ve been editing a couple times now. I definitely need to find a way not to let that happen as it’s slowing down my already-slow progress in re-editing The Wilderness. Just the other day, I fell asleep on my chair, and I seemingly woke up the next day on my bed. I don’t know how I got to my bed though. 

The Wilderness is going along pretty well. I am trying to make it very descriptive, which makes it where editing takes a long time. There is a lot that needs to be deleted, as I repeat the same sentences but just word them differently. Some sentences just don’t work in context to the paragraph with the idea or situation in that paragraph. I also have issues with using past or present tense. Despite this, I am interested in seeing how the final product turns out.
 

Filipino Movies and Impatience

I am re-editing The Wilderness lately, and I have noticed that the editing process has been taking longer than I thought it would. I then realized that there really is not much dialogue in the story, and I am trying to be particularly descriptive. I’m not really sure if there is a quicker way to do this outside of paying someone for editing. With that, I am also growing impatient as I really want to send this to literary agents. 

I watched a Filipino romantic comedy called I Love You, Hater recently. It’s interesting because the comedy and acting is just different than what I’m used to here in the U.S. There is just this over-the-top type of acting in Asian movies that I’ve seen, whereas things seem steadier over here. I thought that it was fun enough, but it would be more of a rental than see in the theaters, in my opinion. Thankfully, I have a Movie Pass, so it was no skin off my back.

Things have been something of a grind, and I can tell that I am just getting more impatient in achieving my goals. I can only hope and pray that it’s all worth it, as I have sacrificed a bit, mainly my time in trying to achieve.