Discomfort and Evolving

I watched Black Panther, and I liked it enough. Some are going to criticize things like the political and social messaging of the movie, but I thought that as a story, it was fun. It moved forward well and felt well-paced. I actually have a problem with my stories in that they constantly just keep moving forward, but I can’t seem to have my characters just stop and smell the roses. I always feel that my characters just have to always be doing “something” and always in a state of action, for the most part.

Maybe that’s just my style of writing, or maybe that’s something that I’m going to have to improve upon. My comfort zone in my stories is in constant action, so I may have to get out of my comfort zone and have my characters just sit around and tell stories or something. I guess that it’s good in constantly being uncomfortable, as that’ll keep my writing sharp and evolving.

I feel that movies and some media, in general, haven’t been evolving very much. We’re seeing a good number of reboots and a lack of new approaches at times. I don’t think that anyone has to necessarily reinvent the wheel, as I personally value execution and characters more than anything else in story. 
 

Childhood and Coming Full Circle

I went to the Long Beach Comic Expo on Saturday and cosplayed as Bruce Lee from Game of Death wearing a yellow track suit. I got some good pictures, and I had fun overall. It’s nice going to an event like that, and despite being in my mid-thirties, it’s not seen as childish at my age to go to an event like that these days. Families are now going to these events with people my age growing up with similar interests and getting their kids into those same interests.

I have hope that The Mustard Prince can be something like that for people. I’d like for a kid to read The Mustard Prince, have good memories of the characters from that book, and grow up still having a fondness for it. I actually feel that way about Puss-N-Boots, which is the book that pretty much taught me how to read. 

I find the journey of becoming an author as something that comes full circle, in a sense. I used to read and/or watch stories unfold through various media (tv shows, anime, video games, books, manga, etc.) when I was younger, and still do but just not as much, but now, I am going that next step as an adult and writing stories for others to enjoy.
 

Technique and Creativity

I’m not much of a sports person, at least when it comes to stick-and-ball sports, but I did catch the Super Bowl, and I try to catch as much of the Winter Olympics that I can. Being more of the creative type, I tend to gravitate towards things that utilize creativity. However, in most of my endeavors, I’ve made it a point to learn fundamental techniques before trying to be creative and unorthodox. With a lot of these sports, seeing them played at the highest level, I get to see one if not both (creativity and technique) utilized at its peak.

Creative writing and trying to become an author has been a process of technique and creativity. I feel that I received some level of fundamental writing from writing so many essays in college, and it helps that I’ve always liked grammar. However, as I’ve stated in another blog post, it really has hindered my ability to go to that next level of creativity, as it’s just recently where I’ve learned about things like “voice,” for example.

I’m really hoping that I can reach a point where I can put it all together. Fundamental technique, in writing, seems to be more of a tangible thing where it’s about sentence construction and grammar. The creative part of it is much more difficult though, where it’s not so concrete. Writing primarily fantasy, it’s all about creativity, and also how one presents it as well.
 

The Past and Re-editing

With writing for a while and learning new things in regards to editing, voice and whatnot, I decided to edit one of my first fantasy short stories, The Witch’s Origin. I’m going to read it on my podcast when I’m done editing it. However, reading over the story, it is quite honestly not well-written. The funny thing is that when I wrote it, I thought that it was indeed well-written.

I’m a bit regretful that I didn’t know things like “voice” or proper editing in the past. It’s quite time-consuming to go over stories that I wrote and re-edit them. Also, in the case of The Mustard Prince in the Condiment Kingdom, I put it out as an eBook on Amazon a while back, and it’s not completely edited correctly. It still lacks “voice” right now especially since I am just starting to understand what “voice” is.

I suppose that this goes to show that it takes a while to put everything together no matter what endeavor one is trying to do. I thought that after college that I could write, and write well, but it turns out that writing creatively with my own “voice” as an author is another skill altogether. Also, I realize how important editing is to this writing process.
 

Voice and Learning

I was listening to a podcast, and the podcaster reviewed Lewis Carroll’s “Alice in Wonderland.” He said how well-written it is, and I decided to read some excerpts. During this time, I remembered a criticism that I got from a literary agent talking about “voice.” I honestly didn’t understand “voice” very much and just wrote how I wanted to. 

Reading some excerpts of “Alice in Wonderland,” I was surprised by a lot of things. For one, the sentences that I read were particularly long, and I was under the impression of condensing and having a “less is more” mentality. The other thing is that I can identify the “voice” of the author in what I read. I can tell that the author’s “voice” which entails quirks, humor, knowledge, etc. was present in what I was reading.

In college, I wrote a lot of essays and helped many students with their essays. Now, I’m not saying that my writing is totally essay-like, but having essay writing being the primary source of my writing, I can tell that certain aspects of that such as rigidness and not really having a “voice” are present in my writing. I can write a grammatically correct sentence, and I can even describe the actions in a way that I’m “showing” and not “telling,” but I always knew that one couldn’t really tell who wrote that sentence. Hopefully, with this newfound knowledge, I can lend my own “voice” to what I am writing.

Simplicity and Reinventing the Wheel

I just watched Studio Ponoc’s “Mary and the Witch’s Flower,” and I thought it was solid. In my opinion, I saw a children’s story being made that was not trying to “reinvent the wheel.” In interviews with some that worked on the movie, they just wanted to create movies after Studio Ghibli closed down. I can relate to that as I wrote The Mustard Prince in the Condiment Kingdom with that same mentality. I just wrote something fun, entertaining, and with a focus on a simple story with memorable characters.

As an author, I still feel that I’m just scratching the surface. I’m still learning and utilizing what I’ve learned into my stories, especially at the time when I have to edit my work. Most recently, I just learned some new things about dialogue, for example. Because of that, I really don’t try to reinvent the wheel but just write about stuff that I like and enjoy. 

I don’t know how that is going to translate with readers though. I suppose that in order to find that out, then I have to become professionally published, which is the goal that I’m working towards. I can only hope that others will enjoy my works and give validity to what I’m working towards.
 

New Year and Small Changes

It’ a New Year, and my goals for this year, 2018, are the same as my goals for 2017. I want to get a girlfriend and get a literary agent. One thing that I am changing is my approach to things by making small adjustments. I think that there’s this idea that change needs to be relatively big whether it’s in dieting or other things, but I’ve learned that small adjustments make a big difference.

For example, with my podcast on Youtube, I’m going back to showing my face and talking to the camera instead of the viewer just seeing a picture. I’m changing the placement of where I advertise my website and my book on the actual podcast in order to get to the meat of the podcast instead of having this long, drawn-out introduction. With getting a literary agent, I’m making small tweaks to my query letters, but also doing more reading on how to make better dialogue in my stories. I then plan to re-edit the dialogue.

I’m hopeful and motivated, which is good. At the end of 2017, I was getting less motivated with how I was marketing my works and myself, especially through the podcast. I am going to look at 2017 as a year of just planting the seeds via practice and educating myself in order to eventually reach my goals.
 

Backwards and Forwards

I have to admit that I feel that I’m working from behind lately. I can’t say that things have been going my way, and that’s hurt my motivation and drive. I suppose that these are the times where I have to really ask myself if I want to be a professionally published author and hope to make money from this endeavor, or continue working at a cubicle.

When I get home, I work on some combination of writing, editing, or marketing my works. Television is something I’ll watch as I eat, but I’ve gotten to the point where I’m not that compelled to just lounge around and watch television until I’m done with writing stuff. I feel regret and slothful the times that I do just sit around.

 If I’m not staying productive, I feel that if I’m not moving forward, then I’m moving backwards. I’ve gotten in the habit and schedule to focus on writing as a priority. I kind of wish that I had this type of drive and focus when I was still a student, but I suppose that it’s just part of the learning experience.
 

Disappointment and Podcasting

I have to admit that I am lacking motivation these days to working on anything writing whether it’s actual writing, editing, but especially marketing through my podcast. I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels in sending query letters, working on the Chris’s Storytelling Corner podcast, and not getting anything in return. The podcast is particularly infuriating because I get next to no subscribers on Youtube, and just a slow crawl of progression as far as followers on Soundcloud. It doesn’t help, and honestly just seems so bizarre, that I receive next to no comments on my podcast as well. One video has a couple hundred views, but oddly doesn’t have any comments, for example.

It's disappointing because of the idea that if you work on something hard enough, you’ll get some sort of progression. In my case though, especially when it comes to the podcast, I work on it regularly, but see hardly any positive results.

I have to seriously consider changing something entirely, or stopping the podcast altogether as it does take a good amount of my time. I like doing it, but without having any type of comments and not seeming to have any type of audience as I have no idea who is listening, it’s more and more coming across as a waste of time.
 

Urgency and Rejection

I’ve been sending out more query letters to literary agents as of late for The Mustard Prince in the Condiment Kingdom. I have felt this particular urgency to send more as of late. I did not always put sending query letters out as priority, but now I feel that I have to. 

With sending out more query letters, I have been receiving more rejections. I’ve received some positive feedback about my book even in rejection, which I appreciate, but it’s still disheartening to get rejected. Now, it’s just most constant rejection.

I have a spreadsheet showing my rejections. If I reach the goal and actually get professionally published, I’m going to be really proud of that spreadsheet. 
 

Retro and Today

I have this, what I feel, peculiar interest in retro things. I particularly like 80’s cartoons, Tin Tin, Peanuts and others forms of media. For one thing, they surprise with how much content they have that pertains more towards adults. For example, in some of the 80’s cartoons I watch, characters actually die.

Things back then just seem a bit more straightforward to me. These days, there’s a lot more style that at times takes precedent over substance. I recently watched Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, and I felt that it was all style with very little substance. My writing though is pretty straightforward, which gets more to the destination or goal quicker, and leads to more action, but I have a hard time having my characters just stop and smell the roses.

That’s not to say that all things today are bad. I quite enjoy a lot of the media that’s being put out there from The Marvel Cinematic Universe to some of the television shows out there as well. 
 

Cleanliness and Tasks

I was told that there are two types of creative people – those who are really clean and those that aren’t. I fall into the category under those that aren’t. At work, I’m clean, and I make sure to keep the common rooms and bathrooms of my house clean, but my own room and car are very messy. 

Part of it is just time. I dedicate a good amount of my time to writing-related things when I’m not at my job like writing, editing, or working on Chris’s Storytelling Corner. It doesn’t have to be clean around me in order for me to do those things, and I know that others have to have a clean workspace in order to complete their tasks.

The other part is also just being a bachelor as well. In my view, the only one affected by this lack of cleanliness is me. If I were with someone, then that would change the dynamic. I’m cognizant though that it’s just good in general to keep things clean, and I’ll attempt to allocate time just for cleaning. 
 

Hurry and Sloth

I realize that I’m in such a hurry to complete this goal of being an author that I’m making mistakes on the way. It seems to be the way that life has taken me. I’ve suffered from sloth for a good amount of my life, that when I decided to actually live my life in productivity and take becoming an author seriously, I’ve rushed it. Because of that, I’ve gone back to The Mustard Prince in the Condiment Kingdom or my short stories and have had to re-edit them. I’m in such a hurry to make up for lost time that my work suffers.

The re-editing process has been a great learning experience for me. I’ve honestly had to edit so much out simply because I was repeating things. It’s surprising just how much is just not needed in the story. I’ve also filled in gaps in a sense where transitions from one sentence to another or paragraph to another have been so much smoother.

I’m playing catchup, pretty much in life and in the writing process, and I’m kind of paying for it. All in all, it’s better than living a life of sloth.
 

Choice and Self-Reflection

Trying to become an author has given me some self-reflection. At the end of the day, it’s a matter of choice as to whether I work on writing or not. Outside of sickness or something else, I choose whether or not I work on writing. There are no outside factors to blame. I choose to do it or I don’t.

I’ve made it a habit to work on writing for so much time of my day every day, and it’s a good thing. After work, I would time the amount of free time that I have left on the day, and how much time I would put to writing, working on the podcast, or editing. I used to prioritize putting more time into this extracurricular work instead of free time. Now, I’m giving myself more free time than I am doing this extracurricular work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still doing this work but not sacrificing as much of my free time to do so.

Relaxing and having free time as an adult is not always available. It’s a reward for working eight plus hours a day. One needs to relax a bit. However, I do the extracurricular work (writing, editing or working on the podcast) first then my free time and relaxing is even more satisfying.
 

Systems and Goals

I’m having a problem lately of comparing myself to others. It’s the whole missing the forest for the trees type thing with me. It seems that so many of my peers are getting married, getting new jobs, graduating for college, etc. Because of this, I’m getting so focused on the goal of becoming a published author, as I feel the need for some sort of achievement. However, I’m missing the journey.

At the end of the day, all I can really do is what’s reasonable and what I am capable of. Reaching the goal is something I’ve been striving to do, so maybe there’s anxiety and frustration in working a long time to reach the goal and not achieving it yet. As long as I’m working towards the goal and having a system to consistently work on it, I can only have faith that I’ll eventually reach something.
 

Hope and Slow Progress

I’m going to see how submitting queries to independent publishers will work out. I’m still going to try with literary agents, but it’s another option for me to get published. I’ve never even gotten to where a literary agent is asking for further material, so I am hopeful that this will lead to something.

I’m actually getting some level of growth with Chris’s Storytelling Corner on SoundCloud. For some reason though, there is next to no growth for it on YouTube. The little bit on YouTube that I do get actually leaves comments, but I get no comments on SoundCloud. On SoundCloud, my movie reviews get the most viewership, and my story readings getting the least. The strategy though for the movie reviews is to just get people to my channel, and hopefully, some of these people may listen to one of my story readings.

It’s been relatively slow as far as progress in reaching this goal is concerned. My time is allocated very specifically every day in order to achieve this goal. I can only hope and pray for the best.
 

Time and Limitations

Time has been something that is becoming increasingly valuable. Besides having a full-time job, I’m trying to become an author as well. Everything that I’m doing is on a schedule, so even losing an hour is a lot to me. 

This lack of time makes it so that I’m limited in what I can do to market my works. It would be very difficult for me, for example, to go to some sort of writing conference or convention to network. I feel relegated to doing stuff from home such as podcasts, forums, and whatnot. It’s still slow-going with Chris’s Storytelling Corner.

I actually have a very few amount of people, mainly on SoundCloud, liking the stuff that I’m doing, which entails reading parts of my novels and short stories, and manga reviews. I wish that this stuff would take off faster, but maybe this is a test of patience and perseverance. 

A Slow Start and Frustration

It’s been a slow start to this new podcast, and I am a bit frustrated. I am hopeful that having a consistent product with original content will eventually get something going. It’s difficult though because I don’t know how to even get people to know of my product and watch it. There’s going to be a bit of luck necessary to get something going.

It costs money to put podcasts on certain sites, and I haven’t even come close to making that money back through selling my works. I am really curious as to how successful self-published authors get a fanbase and make money. 

I don’t really have any other ideas outside of this. I can only hope for the best.

Re-branding and Promotion

I have just gone through a major rebranding as far as promotion and marketing of my work. It costs me some money, but I do like what I see. When progressing, it seems that the reset button needs to be pressed every once in a while. 

So, I have rebranded all my promotional material as far as reading my works online through Youtube, Podbean, Soundcloud, and doing manga reviews under “Chris’s Storytelling Corner.” I took some pictures and even added music. Consistency will be key, and I have material prepared ahead of time.

I don’t really know of any other way to promote my works that is feasible to me and my time. Every book is different though, from its genre to how its written, so I suppose that there isn’t any one particular way to promote and market. 

The Idea of "Making It" and Indifference

I’m catching myself thinking about “making it.” I keep hearing from those that did “make it,” whether it be authors, actors, etc. that people will come out of the woodwork and act like they were with that person from the beginning of their journey. I can count on my hand how many people are truly with me in this journey, and it’s not many. They will be getting a Thank You card though.

I wonder what it is about trying to reach a goal like becoming a published author. Many around me seem so indifferent to what I’m reaching for. I suppose that there’s no real reason to believe in me, and that results are what matter in the end.

This grind is difficult, and the achievements so far are few. There’s nothing exciting about what I’m doing and what I’m sacrificing to achieve this goal, so I can see why there are those that are indifferent.